Make Yourself Happy
by jessinamaca
Summary: Because, even after the two fall in love, there is always another story waiting to be told. Always another person getting in the way of the couple’s happiness. Some force, some evil works against it, breaking the bond. And in this story that force it me.


It is common knowledge that when two people fall in love, their story is over. The couple might face a few trials, such as an oven that won't heat or a toaster that shoots toast up to the ceiling, but nothing of interest rarely ever happens. Yes, you have those few exceptions. The couple can't conceive, or the child they do manage to have dies. But no one likes to watch that. No, they like mystery, action, intrigue. And when the couple ends up together, happy and in love:

That simply disappears.

So, unfortunately, the love signifies the end of the story, not the beginning of a new life, a new reason for existence. People lose interest, for no one, is satisfied with happiness. The story ends, and people assume that ultimately means a happily ever after. So, the meeting of two hearts, the joining of two souls, indicates the end.

Except in this one.

Because, even after the two fall in love, there is always another story waiting to be told. Always another person getting in the way of the couple's happiness. No matter what people think, happily ever after, isn't actually forever. Some force, some evil works against it, breaking the bond and making happily ever after, just an afterthought.

And for this story, that force, is me.

They met as every couple does. One day, they bumped into each other. He had scattered her papers about and after apologizing profusely, he insisted that he buy her a cup of coffee. She, being so struck by just the mere sight of him, accepted. They had coffee, talked until the store closed.

And the rest of course is history.

Until they discovered just who the other was. That, of course, is where this story really begins. After the love, after the 'happily ever after.' For there really is no such thing. Well, for the two, they figured out that they were in fact forbidden. Each came from families that despised the other. Romantic as that may seem, it was anything but. The second the families found out, the romance ended.

Or, it was supposed too.

That's where I came in. For me, everyone had to be happy, and if I could help, I did, no matter how much it hurt me. So I helped them.

I was after all her best friend.

"Oh Hermione, he's just so wonderful!" Ginny mumbled in the pillow. I rolled my eyes and continued to rub her back as she tried unsuccessfully to fight the tears that filled her eyes. Her shoulders shook with her sobs as she again burst with emotion.

"Yes, you've said that, and I still don't believe you. I mean, he _is_ Draco Malfoy after all." This only made her sob harder. I tried to soothe her, whispering softly and smoothing her hair. She cried into the pillow for a few seconds before sitting directly up. She brought her fists down on the bed.

"That's what makes him so perfect. That he used to be terrible. And now he's… he's…" She began to cry again.

"Wonderful," I whispered so she couldn't hear. Though I didn't wish to admit it, I knew very well that there was no truer statement. Memories of him filled my mind, but I shook it slightly, trying to erase them. But I knew that she wasn't lying. He was wonderful.

I loved him once too.

"And it's just n-n-not fa-a-air." She sobbed, bringing me out of my thoughts. Grateful for the interruption, I began to rub her back again. "Why shouldn't I be with him? We're not h-h-hurting anyone" She sobbed harder, her tears wetting the pillow and causing mascara to rub off onto it. I tried not to wince as the black stained my pillows.

"Life isn't fair, sweetheart." I patted her hair. She snorted.

"You wouldn't understand. You've never been in love."

How wrong that statement was. I had been in love. With the same man she was sobbing about on the couch.

But I didn't like to think about that much.

So instead, I comforted the girl lying on my bed. The one crying her heart out. She'd known the guy for forty-eight hours and she was already in love with him. I must admit she's quick.

It took me 6 years after all.

_Walking down the hall one night during head duty, I was pulled into a broom closet by a rather strong man. It was dark, so I couldn't see anything, but I knew who he was, just by the way he held me. He kissed my neck and I giggled softly, arching my back up to him. He kissed up to my ear._

"_You looked so hot, I couldn't resist." I gasped innocently, and laughed, trying to seem shocked at the statement._

"_I was walking down the hallway." I replied naively. He captured my lips and slid his tongue through them, tasting every inch of my mouth. I sighed in pleasure, melting into his touch. He broke away and I moaned in protest. _

"_Yes, looking rather gorgeous doing it." I couldn't see, but I knew he was smiling the smile that took my breath away with just glance. I had once refused to let a man capture me like that. I told myself that I wasn't going to be weak and unable to resist._

_That all went out the window when I met him._

_I decided to ignore his remark and grabbed him roughly by the shirt, pulling him against me and pressing my lips firmly to him. He smiled into the kiss, and soon his hands were making their slow ascent up my body. I melted, sighing contently, but, remembering where we were, pushed him back suddenly._

"_What if we get caught?" I worried. He put a hand above my head on the wall, so that he body was leaning towards me. Leaning down slightly, for he was a good head taller than me, he whispered;_

"_I blocked off the hallway." I smiled and pulled him again, crashing my lips to his once more._

"I'm going to help you." I decided, saying it before I could fully think it over. I knew that no matter how much it hurt, I had to help her. She needed me. So I pushed my feelings aside and offered my assistance.

"Oh, what can you do? It's hopeless!" She threw her arms up in the air and crashed into the pillow again, sobbing. I shushed her and patted her slightly.

"I can bring notes to you guys. You can still communicate. And maybe every once in awhile, I can secure a place for you guys to meet. And keep everything from your parents. They trust me inexplicitly. It's sad actually." She laughed softly and I smiled. "See there, already you're feeling better, and I haven't done anything!"

She sat up. "Would you really do that? For me?" I nodded, though I was still unsure of this myself. I only knew that she needed to be happy. She gasped and threw her arms around me, choking me and getting mascara all over my shirt as she began to cry with happiness. "That's so wonderful. You're so great. I love you." I nodded, but dread filled me. No matter how I wished not to do this, I knew it would make her happy.

And that was the most important thing.

"_Would you shut up?" I looked over sharply, seeing Malfoy eyeing my madly. My mouth formed an 'o' as I stared in shock. _

"_Excuse me?" I squeaked, unsure of what angered him so._

"_You keep mumbling to yourself!" He uttered, exasperated. "I don't know how you can possibly talk to yourself and read at the same time, but you manage it. And not even coherent sentences! 'Maybe this could…' and 'No, that's would just be…' It's driving me to the brink of insanity." He threw his hands up in anger. I blushed and lowered my head, embarrassed that I had been caught._

"_I try to guess what's going to happen next. I try to figure things in the story out, solve the puzzle. I guess I talk out loud when doing this." I said quietly, trying not to meet his eyes._

"_Well it bothers the hell out of me, Granger. If we weren't in the library, I'd hex you." I rolled my eyes and went back to my book, embarrassment gone. He sat down and picked up whatever he had been doing before the outburst. We sat for a couple minutes, not paying attention to the other, until he threw down his book. _

"_You're doing it again!" I blushed a deeper shade and he came to my table. "Why the hell do you do this to me?" It was a simple question, but it held more than it was supposed to, and I got the distinct feeling that he wasn't just talking about the mumbling._

Ginny had finally calmed down and we sat by the fire, eating junk food and telling stories. I had successfully avoided all conversation of Draco, until suddenly she got dreamy eyed and I groaned inwardly, knowing what was to come.

I used to get that way as well.

"You know why I fell in love with him?" She asked dreamily. I said no, why and she went on, sighing. "He just seemed so right. We sat talking for hours, never running out of things to say. His life seemed so perfect, so right. He had everything in place. He had goals, dreams." She sighed happily.

"That doesn't seem like a reason to fall in love with someone." I spoke before I thought. Luckily, she didn't detect the malice in my voice. She just sighed some more. I rolled my eyes, wondering if I ever sighed this much.

God, I hope not.

"Have you ever been with someone and just known?" She asked, a dreamy look still in her eyes. "I felt as if I could spend the rest of my life with him, and knew suddenly that I would. Have you ever had that feeling?"

"Yes," I admitted softly.

Unfortunately.

_We lay on the grass, my head resting on his chest, one of his arms underneath his head. The only sound was the wind playing with the leaves as they danced around us. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of just being near him. Every touch sent shivers up and down my spine. Every secret look gave me butterflies in my stomach. Every kiss melted my heart. I suddenly knew what it was like to love and want someone completely._

_And I never wanted to let go of that feeling._

_I sat up and turned around to face him. He looked me in the eyes, startled. I hovered above his face and whispered, "I love you." He smiled warmly._

"_I love you too." He said smiling wider. Though it had been said many times before, each time was like a breath of fresh air, like a burst of energy. It made me want to laugh and sing and cry all at once. Never before had I felt something so strong, so powerful. It could bring me to a the top of a mountain, make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and crash me back down to earth in a matter of seconds._

_I kissed him then, feeling his smile fade as he kissed me back. Flipping me over, he was on top of me and I kissed him back fervently, never wanting to stop. He rested both hands on either side of me and kissed me long and hard. We came up for air and he looked deeply into my eyes._

"_I love it when you do that." I giggled and look at him questionably._

"_Do what?"_

"_Kiss me for the simplest things. If I ask you what book you are reading, or if you'd like some coffee, you kiss me before answering. And when I say that I love you…"_

"_That isn't simple." I said quickly, biting back a smile._

"_It is." He stated. "It's simply the way I feel about you."_

_I broke out in a grin. "That better not change." He kissed me once again._

"_Never."_

_­­­_

She kissed the envelope and I shuttered involuntarily. She had gotten too mushy for her own good. Holding the letter out to me, she grinned widely as tears filled her eyes. Worried she would begin to cry again, I grabbed the letter and began to walk away. She stopped me in my tracks. "Thank you, Hermione. You have no idea how much this means to me."

I had to know. "Ginny, can I read this? I've never read a love letter." She shrugged and nodded, as I bit back my smile. Grabbing my coat I walked out into the street, made sure no one was watching, and tore open the letter. I tried not to gag as I read its contents.

_Draco,_

_Our family has separated us, but you are never gone from my heart. I wish to know more about you, so we shall communicate through letters. My dear friend Hermione has agreed to take this to you and not breathe a word. _

_Tell me all there is to know about you. I wish to know everything. What is your favorite color, you favorite food? Your hopes, your dreams, though I already know most of those. _

_I long for the moment you respond. And for the moment I get to see you again._

_Love,_

_Ginny_

It was the most pathetic excuse for a love letter I had ever seen. She seemed like a pathetic schoolgirl who has a major crush. She doesn't sound like someone in love. At least, I hope not. Because that meant that all those letters I wrote to him sounded just the same. I tried not to think about that. I read through it once more and shivered.

If she wanted to know so much about him, she could've asked me.

"_You know," I spoke one day, handing the streamers to him to hang in the Great Hall for the Halloween celebration, "I've kissed you, what, a thousand times?" He chuckled and I ignored him, continuing. "And still I hardly know anything about you." He looked down from the ladder, grabbed the streamer, and frowned. _

"_It isn't that exciting." He spoke so softly, I barely heard him. _

"_I beg to differ." He looked down, took one look at me, and began his slow descent down the ladder. Coming face to face with me, he drew his thumb across my cheek. We stood there, staring into each others eyes._

_Then he kissed me ever so gently._

"_What would you like to know?" He relented._

_I smiled, held his jaw, kissed him softly again, and whispered, "Everything."_

I hated pacing.

But I was doing it anyway. I had resolved never to set foot inside this house again, for it held too many memories for me. Already, I was remembering things I had willed myself over and over to forget. But every little thing in this house held its own memory. Every corner held its own reminder of the life I had before. I had spent many days, just going through the rooms, running through the hallways, and kissing in the corners with Draco. Many of the best days of my life were spent just inside this one house. Never would I have thought that one house could hold so much over me.

I paced, stopped, paced, stopped, and paced some more. I couldn't bring myself to ring that doorbell. Ringing that doorbell would be like signing my soul over to the devil.

Once I did it, there was no going back.

I didn't have to. The door swung open and I turned around slowly, praying to God that it was someone else and I could simply say I had the wrong house. But it wasn't. It was him. He stared, opened mouthed, at me. I smiled meekly. Suddenly, his expression changed, turning from shock to something that I hadn't seen in a long time. Something that no matter how much time passed, I was sure I was never going to forget.

And just as I predicted, he swooped down, and kissed me.

_I was in the library again, reading, though keeping check on my mumbling. Whenever I found myself ready to say something aloud, I would stop, for he was there again. I didn't want to anger him, for he scared me just a little too much. I finished my book, placed it back on the shelf, and began to browse for a new one, finger running over the spines as I searched. I was done with all my homework, so it was time for fun._

_I felt someone come up behind me and I turned around quickly. It was him._

"_I can't take it anymore!" He whispered, softly but fiercely._

"_I'm not even reading-"_

"_Not about the mumbling. You. You're driving me insane. I'm suddenly aware of everything you do. I find myself, staring at you, finding the insane things you do endearing!" He whispered exasperated. "I watch the way you bite your lip when you're in a situation you're uncomfortable with. Or when you read, laughing, crying, smiling, at whatever dumb book you have at the moment. I watch you lift your chin when you get defensive and stumble over words when you don't have time to think things through._

"_And god, when you argue, you are the most glorious thing I have ever seen. Your chin raises, your words become stronger, you stand up taller. And no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise, I love that you never relent, never back down, even when you know you're wrong. And though it may be annoying as hell, I love when you get defensive over something and fight to the death to prove your point. And when you win, your eyes become bright and you smirk, just like a Slytherin."_

_He paused and I tried to take in everything he had just confessed. My head was spinning around and around, as I analyzed each and every word. He took a death breath and spoke again._

"_Why the hell do you do this to me?"_

I tried not to think about how the kiss was the greatest one I'd had in three years. I tried not to think about the fact that when I kiss him, I feel as if the whole world had gone away. I tried the hardest not to think about the power just his simplest kiss had over me.

I pushed him back, no matter how hard it was, no matter how much I wanted to just relax and fall into him. "Ginny," I panted, breathless from the kiss. He turned hard, straightened up, and stared at me coldly. I shook my head reassuringly. Taking out the letter and handing it to him, I told him, "Ginny wanted me to give this to you." I still felt breathless and lightheaded, and when his hand touched mine, my whole body was once again set on fire.

He tore open the resealed letter, read it through, and rubbed his unshaven jaw nervously, the same one I longed to touch, looking troubled. Looking up at me, meeting my eyes with his worried ones, he spoke, sending joy and dread all throughout me.

"This is bad."

"_Catch me if you can!" I shouted, running down the hallway. I heard him boom with laughter and I looked around worriedly, trying to search for a place to hide. I opened a door, and, finding it to be a broom closet, closed it silently. I ran down another hallway, feeling the burn in my lungs and the joy in my heart as he searched for me._

_I thought I knew this place backwards and forwards, but we were in an entire new wing, one that I never even knew existed. I was in unfamiliar territory and embracing the feeling of being completely and utterly lost. Hearing him turn down the hallway that intersected with the one I was on, I quickly jumped into the first room I saw, only to discover a glorious room._

_It was read and gold, every single inch of it. The bed was huge, lined with a red comforter and gold pillows. A fireplace was situated in the middle of the opposite wall, bookcases all around it. There were so many books in that room. Forgetting the game, I looked in awe at the shelves of books, just waiting to be read. I was so caught up in them, I didn't hear Draco sneak up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder._

"_Do you like it?" He asked. I nodded, finding words unable to come. "Good, because it's yours." I turned around suddenly, not quite believing my ears._

"_It's mine?" I asked, voice quivering a little. He smiled softly._

"_Every last book. You're spending so much time here, I thought you would like your own room, where you can just relax and read." I could barely find the words to thank him._

"_What about you parents?"_

"_They're barely in this house to begin with; do you really think they're going to go in unused rooms they've never been in? Besides, I'm not too worried about them."_

"_You should be. If you're father ever found out about us-" He put a finger to my lips._

"_You're worth the risk."_

_And then he kissed me._

Now he was pacing.

"I don't know how this happened." He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, I care about her, but not to this extent. I mean, I've known her for less then a week. How am I supposed to love her?" He had absolutely no idea just how many choruses were erupting in my head. "When I met her on the street; that was just an accident. And when I found out who she was, well…" He stopped pacing and looked at me.

"It wasn't going to happen again."

He did not need to explain any further. I knew exactly what he meant. He wasn't going to have a secret relationship. Not again. He had already had that once.

With me.

_We were doing it again._

_For some reason, we just couldn't keep our hands off one another. He would pull me into broom closets, empty classrooms, anything. We tried to avoid each other in our common room, because seeing each other there only ended in disaster. Ever since that day, everything had changed. My life was speeding off, and I was enjoying every minute of it._

_We broke for air and he leaned his forehead on mine. "I can't believe I'm doing this with you." We panted and I laughed softly._

"_I can't either."_

"_If my father ever found out…" He trailed off. I shivered; knowing what would happen if we were to become known. _

_I broke out into a reassuring smile. "I guess he never will then." He smiled and soon, we were off, kissing again until we became breathless, only pausing for the little air we needed to go on, embracing the passion, the moment,_

_And the secret._

Closing the door softly, I tiptoed, thinking Ginny would be asleep. I was wrong. She sat in a chair by the fireplace, head buried in her hands. I touched her shoulder slightly and she jumped. Her eyes were red and swollen. She had been crying again.

"Does he hate me?" I shook my head, surprised. "Oh I know he does. I realize what a fool I am, to send him a letter like that. I was so caught up in him; I figured I must love him. But I didn't, did I?" Again I shook my head. She buried her head in her hands again. "Oh he does hate me!" she cried.

"Oh no, he doesn't. He just doesn't love you. Not yet." I took out the letter out and handed it to her. If she wanted me too, I could recite it. I had looked over it so many times.

_Dear Ginny,_

_Though I am flattered with your proclamations, I must admit that I do not quite feel the same way. I care for you deeply; you have opened up something in me that had been sealed away a long time ago. I wish to know more about you as well. Anything for me will be given to Hermione, where she will give it to me. _

_Draco_

_P.S. My favorite color is brown and my favorite food is anything sweet. My hope is to know more about you. My dream, well, you may learn about that one later._

"That's strange. I've never heard of anyone's favorite color being brown. It's such a strange color? Do you know anyone?"

"Can't say that I do."

That was the first of many lies I told to her. Yes, I knew someone who loved that color. It was actually a chocolate brown that he loved the best. But telling her that would only make her see. And thinking about it hurt too much.

"How are you getting him the letters?" She asked suddenly.

"We have a place." I whispered.

A very special place.

"_Happy Birthday, Draco!" I yelled, surprising him as he walked through the door to our common room. He jumped back, startled and I threw my head back and laughed. A mischievous glint shown in his eyes and he suddenly came rushing towards me. Before I had time to react, he scooped me up, twirling me around until I became dizzy. I laughed and screamed for him to put me down, enjoying the excitement._

_He stopped, kissed me longingly, and broke apart. "Thank you."_

"_But you haven't even opened your present yet!"_

"_I thought we agreed no presents!" He cried._

"_Well, I saw this and I had to get it. Besides, it's not much."_

"_I don't want anything."_

"_But it's your birthday!" I argued._

"_You're all I need." I kissed him then, softly but passionately. Never before had someone said those words to me and it was the best feeling in the world. Basically every moment I spent with him, was the best moment of my life. I was so far in; it was hard to imagine life without him. And even if I tried, it hurt too much to think about._

_I quickly brought him his present, and, ignoring his arguments, made him open it. He did so, rolling his eyes and taking his time. I tried to rush him but he only moved slower. Crossing my arms over my chest, I plopped down on the couch annoyed. He smiled, kissed my forehead, and tore off the last bit of the wrapping paper. Opening the box, he broke out in a grin._

"_You're always complaining about it being too cold. I saw it and had to get it. Do you like it?" I asked nervously. _

"_Yes." He laughed softly. "You always were the people pleaser." I gasped, feigning hurt._

"_It's the color of your eyes." He said suddenly, his voice dipping down to a whisper._

"_It is? I hadn't noticed."_

"_My favorite color."_

"_Oh really, since when?" He didn't answer and I turned to look at him curiously. He looked at me deeply, his eyes pouring into mine, looking into my soul._

"_Since I fell in love with you."_

_­­­­­­­­­­­­­_

After Ginny had written her response, I vowed not to read it, and made my way up to the Malfoy Manor. It was like a stab to my heart every time I looked at this place; for though it held thousands of good memories, there was one bad that was constantly on my mind. It was the one memory I couldn't make myself forget.

It was the one memory that decided my fate.

The room still looked the same. The books still sat on their shelves, some looking far more worn then the others, though that was my fault. The bed had been made since the last time I'd been there, but I suppose that makes sense. The fireplace was still there, still roaring with a fire that looked like it had just been done. I sighed contently, finally feeling home in three years.

But it wasn't rightfully mine. Not anymore.

_Tears fell of my cheeks, dripping onto the stone floor. I tired to control the sobbing, but the tears fell on their own. He looked furious, but I was mad as well. _

"_Why are you doing this?" He said softly, taking note of my tears._

"_I'm not the one who's doing this, Draco." I struggled._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" His voice had risen. With good reason._

"_You lied to me Draco! Every time you said you loved me you lied!" I shouted, remembering the event that put us in this place. I began to sob, not bothering to hold it back. "I never pretended. God only knows why, but I fell in love with you. And you played me!" I turned away, burying my face in my hands, my shoulders shaking as I cried. He rested a hand on my shoulder but I jerked away from it._

"_Don't touch me." I spat venomously._

"_I never-"_

"_Don't try to come up with excuses. I just came here, to get my things. And then," I looked him straight in the eye, "You won't ever have to look at my mudblood face ever again." I spoke softly, the tears coming at full force. _

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_You know what I'm talking about. I heard everything." I pushed past him into the room, grabbed my things, and walked out, trying not to look at him as I left. _

"_Wait," He spoke. I stopped. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to face him and crashed his lips to mine. _

"_No, please." I pushed away crying. "You're only making this harder." I left then, leaving him behind, staring at the space where I used to be._

I watched him as he read the letter, holding out for any sign of dislike he might show. I got none, only smiles. My heart broke every time he smiled, for two very different reasons. When he had finished, he immediately pulled a sheet of paper out of the desk and began to write.

I went back to the book I had been reading, trying to distract myself from the look of pleasure that was on his face. Minutes passed before he came in front of me and handed me the letter.

"Bring her here." He demanded.

"No." I said, surprising him and myself. "I can't bring her here."

"Why?" He asked angrily.

"Because this is my place!" I nearly shouted. I was surprised; surprised I didn't immediately give in, no matter my feelings. I went directly on my emotions, and it was an unfamiliar territory. One that hadn't been explored in awhile.

"You gave it up!"

"I didn't lie! I didn't pretend!"

"I never lied to you."

"Here you are, doing it again. How can you lie straight to my face, when I overheard you and your father talking that day?" Realization dawned on his face and I shook my head. "Unfortunately for you, I found out _everything_."

"You misunderstood." He whispered.

"This is why I didn't tell you! I knew you would try to convince me otherwise and I would fall for it. You have no power over me anymore, Draco. So fine, I'll bring Ginny here. You shattered my heart into a thousand tiny pieces that day; I don't see how you could break it anymore." I turned to leave, but he stopped me with a question.

"Is there any one else?" He asked softly. I paused before shaking my head slightly.

"No. There's no one else." I whispered.

He walked up to me and I turned around to face him. "What can I do to change things?"

"You can't," I struggled with the tears that welled up in my eyes, willing them not to fall.

"What can I do to make this better?" He asked quietly, pleading me. I refused to give in.

"Make her happy," I whispered, and walked out to get Ginny.

_I listened through the door as Draco and his father talked. Lucius has just come home and I barely managed to get out of sight. But he knew. I could tell._

"_What are you doing with the mudblood?" He yelled. _

"_I don't know what-"_

"_Don't lie to me boy. I saw her. What is she doing here? Why are you dirtying yourself with her?"_

"_I'm not!"_

"_Don't lie to me boy. I'll kill her." I covered up my mouth to stop the gasp that was coming out._

"_It's nothing father, just a stupid bet. I was supposed to make her fall in love with me and then dump her harshly. You know Slytherins; we're always trying to break other people." He laughed._

"_So she means nothing to you? She's just a stupid bet?"_

"_Yes. She means nothing to me."_

I wiped away the tears, stood up straight, and went into Ginny's room. She looked up expectantly. "Come with me," I spoke. She stood up, giddily. We went to the manor, and when I opened the door to my room, she squealed in delight as she saw him. I rolled my eyes.

She ran up to him and kissed him square on the mouth. That kiss drove a knife through my heart. "I'll just excuse myself. Ginny, you know the way back?" She nodded and I walked quickly out of the room, willing the tears not to fall before I left. When I closed the door I heard Ginny say,

"What's gotten into her?" But she wasn't answered. They were too busy kissing.

I ran and ran through the hallways, made my way out, and stumbled in the grass, crying. It hurt so much to see him with another person, especially Ginny. What a hypocrite I was. I had hoped he would move on.

Just not so I could see it.

I lay there, sobbing softly, until there were no more tears left to spill.

_Draco had been flirting with Pansy, so I decided to get back at him. I was currently making Ron very uncomfortable, and from what I could feel, very happy. I was stealing his food and feeding him, kissing him on the cheek. Occasionally I would look over and Draco would be staring angrily at us. I would smirk and kiss Ron again. Finally, Draco stood up and stalked out of the Great Hall. Shortly after, I followed._

_Only to be pulled into a broom closet._

_Immediately his lips were on mine and his hands were making their way up my shirt. I arched my back in response. Suddenly he stopped and I groaned in protest. He began to kiss my neck and I struggled to breathe. "What were you doing with Weasel? It's so uncharacteristic of you." He asked between kisses._

"_I-I was just f-f-Oh god" I breathed. He was really good at taking away my concentration with just the lightest touches. I tried harder. "I was g-g-getting you b-b-back." He laughed and his hot breath tickled my throat._

"_I don't like to see you with him." He stopped his torture and looked me straight in the eyes._

"_I don't like being with him." He smiled widely and I had to smile in return. He soon began his torture again._

"_You're mine." He whispered. I nodded._

"_Yes."_

"_Say it." He demanded._

"_Yours." He stopped and came back to my face._

"_Forever." He said softly._

_Then he kissed me._

_­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_

She burst through the door with pink cheeks and bursting with excitement.

"Oh Hermione, it was wonderful! Like a dream!" I had no wish to hear about it, but she continued and I could not stop her. "He was a perfect gentleman all through out and when it came to an end, I wanted to cry. He's so beautiful, don't you think?" I nodded, but then snapped my head up.

"Do you mean that you and him-" I couldn't finish the sentence. I hurt too much to breathe.

"Oh no, but still. The night was magical…" I stopped her.

"Ginny, I'm tired and I'm sure you want to keep the night yours. Don't tell me. Just go to bed. I'm sure you're tired."

She yawned and stretched. "Oh, I am. Hermione, I wish you could find the happiness that I have." She settled down and fell instantly asleep.

I did have happiness once. Extreme happiness. I had been happier than she could probably ever be.

But that was in the past.

_I walked into the common room to see millions of candles lining the walls, their glow the only light in the room. I smiled and set down my books on the table, smelling the scent of roses that filled the air. I saw the mastermind behind all this and gave him a quick kiss._

"_You did all this for me?" I asked softly. He nodded. I kissed him again, hard and long. "What is this for?"_

"_Happy Valentine's Day." He said softly. He handed me a box of chocolate and something else. I opened the other box slowly, to find a ring inside. "It's a promise ring." He said softly. I held a hand up to my mouth in shock. He took the ring and slid it up my ring finger. "Hermione Granger, I promise to love you forever." I looked at him, tears filling my eyes. _

"_Thank you." I said softly. "Not only for the ring, but for everything. It's been amazing."_

"_I love you." He said suddenly. I ran a finger up and down his cheek._

"_I love you too." I kissed him softly and we settled on the couch, just holding each other._

I took him the letter Ginny had written in the morning. I waited for him, in the room, reading on the bed, trying not to remember anything about him. It was so hard, for everything I did was a constant reminder. I managed to get through half of the book before he came in, looking rather disheveled.

"Sorry it took me so long. My father kept me longer than expected." I smiled softly, putting a bookmark in my place and set the book back on the shelf. I shrugged.

"No big deal. I still haven't read all of these books." I handed him the letter but he gently grabbed my hand instead.

"You could have." He said softly.

"Draco, please." I begged. He released me. Handing him the letter, I picked up my coat and began to walk out the door, but he stopped me.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like?" When I didn't answer, he continued. "If you had stayed, if you hadn't believed the stupid lie I told my father."

"How can you stand there and make this my fault. I didn't say those things. I didn't leave on my own terms. You never wanted me. I was just some stupid bet." Tears began to fall and he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed into his arm. "Oh Draco, I loved you so much. So much." I whispered this over and over while he tried to comfort me. He turned me around.

"I never lied to you. I lied to him to save you. My father would have killed you if he had known the truth." I sobbed, trying not to believe him. I told myself over and over that he was lying just to get to me. "I don't know about you, but I still love you." He kissed me then, passionately. I cried, trying not to fall under his spell. Soon, though, I was falling into his arms and never wanting to leave.

Until I remember Ginny.

"Oh god." I broke away from him. "What am I doing? I can't do this to her!" I looked at him through my tear filled eyes. "I can't do this to her," I repeated whispering, shaking my head. He reached out and wiped the tears off my cheek. I leaned my head into his hand as he looked at me deeply.

"She'll understand."

"But that's the thing, she won't. She's falling in love with you." I said softly. He looked at me shocked. "What, are you not falling in love with her as well?" It hurt too much to hope, but I did anyway.

"She's not you."

_I had to tell him. _

_Keeping it inside was hard. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, tell everyone. But I couldn't. No one would understand. I fidgeted, sitting on the couch, waiting for him to walk in. I had gone over what I was going to say to him over and over inside my head. I stood up, walked around, and sat back down. I was too nervous to do anything but fidget._

_Finally he walked in._

_One look at him made me forget all the lines that I had rehearsed over and over. He looked nervous, disheveled. I wonder what he could be going through. He looked at me and smiled, and all doubts I had were gone. It was just me and him._

_Forever._

"_I love you." He said in a rush. He refused to meet my eyes when he said this, but I was too happy to care._

"_I love you too." I said quietly. His head snapped up and he smiled more brightly than before. I smiled and he rushed up, grabbed me off the couch, and held me up in the air, spinning me around in joy. He lowered his arms until my face was inches away from his. I kissed him, and he set me gently down, wrapping his arms around me, never breaking the kiss._

I just stared at him in shock and he shrugged. "I tried. I wanted to move on. And when I met her, I thought, this is perfect. But then you walked back into my life and I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I could never replace you. And the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want too. Because you are and will be the only person I could ever love."

I tried not to run into his arms. I had a friend to think about. "This is going to hurt her so much."

"She would want you to be happy."

­­­­­­­­­­

"_You look beautiful." He whispered. I smiled, looking down at the elaborate dress I was wearing embarrassed._

"_It's not too much?" I asked weakly._

_He shook his head. "It's perfect." _

"_You look rather handsome yourself." I told him, readjusting his tie. He straightened up and looked proud. I slapped him on the shoulder softly and he feigned pain. "Are you ready to go and pretend to hate each other?" I asked._

_He nodded. I sighed. "It's a shame that the Head girl and the Head boy have to share a dance at the beginning of the ball." He told me. Puzzled, I looked at him. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Whenever you're in my arms, I have trouble not kissing you." I blushed, pleased._

"_That would present a problem. I guess I'll just have to promise you every kiss you want when we get back." I replied coyly. He groaned and I began to walk towards the door. I heard a growl and before I knew it, I was on the couch._

"_I don't want to wait." And he kissed me._

He was kissing me again.

Every time I looked at him, he pounced on me. I tried to fight him, but he was too strong, as were his kisses. Finally, when we had to come up for air, I ran to the other side of the room. "We can't do this."

He came slowly to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning his face in my hair and inhaling deeply. "Exactly the same," he mumbled. "I don't see why not. We're not hurting anyone."

"But we are, Draco! Ginny will be devastated. I can't betray her like that!" I protested. He kept trying to kiss me but I dodge him. He muttered something about my 'damn need for everyone to be happy' and I smiled. Suddenly, he stopped, eyes locking with mine.

"I lost you once," he told me, "I'm not going to lose you again."

_Ever since he cornered me in the library, I had trouble not thinking about him. He was part of all my thoughts. I soon found myself wishing he was where I was going, seeing him around every corner. I was going insane. It was the only logical explanation for why I was feeling this way about Malfoy._

_Soon, I couldn't take it. I knew he was sneaking looks at me as well, because most of the time, I looked at him while he was looking at me. We'd stare, fighting for dominance, never giving in, until something happened, one of our friends tapped our shoulder or the teacher called on one of us. _

_Then we were paired up in Potions._

_It was awkward at first. Extremely awkward. Then, he seemed to decide something, for after completing the second step to the potion, I suddenly felt his hand on my knee. I nearly knocked over the potion at the surprise, but he did not remove his hand. He smirked though, as I blushed deeply._

_Slowly, his hand crept up my leg, fingers digging slightly into my leg. My eyes fluttered close. Realizing our place, I pushed his hand away and continued. He just smirked and returned his hand minutes later. This time, he traced up and down my leg, each time coming closer to my waist. It was becoming hard to concentrate and before I knew it, our potion had blown up._

_It bubbled over and spread all over the place. Girls screamed and it was all I could to keep from laughing._

"_Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger. Clean that up at once!" Snape barked. Of course, since I was working with Draco, no points were deducted. I rolled my eyes, grabbed the cloth, and began to clean. He did the same, smiling. I looked at him shyly and he grinned at me. While we were cleaning the huge mess, we snuck glances at each other, hoping no one would notice._

_After class, he rushed out before I did and I felt strangely disappointed. I apologized to Snape once again and headed down the hallway._

_That was the first time Draco pulled me into the broom closet._

"Draco, I couldn't wa-" Ginny stopped mid sentence when she saw Draco holding me. She gasped and we jumped back from each other. "Hermione?" She asked teary eyed. I began to move towards her but she shook her head and back up. "Please tell me you have an explanation for this." I struggled for the words.

"I trusted you," she spat.

"I know I-"

"You what? Thought you could steal the man of my dreams and get away with it? Thought that I wouldn't care?" Ginny began to cry and I reached out to her. She turned to Draco and looked back at me. "I never want to see you again." She said, venom in her voice. Tears welled up in my eyes as she glared at me. She walked out of the room and I made to go after her, but Draco stopped me.

He held me while I cried, smoothing my hair and whispering reassurances in my ear. "I'll talk to her," he offered. I shook my head.

"I should do it." He nodded and kissed my forehead softly. I turned, took a deep breath, and tried to find Ginny.

­

"_Can you please tell me where we are going?" I whispered, not liking the fact that I couldn't see. His hands covered my eyes and he steered me around the house. _

"_Shh. We're almost there. Keep you pants on." I laughed and he paused for a second. "Just kidding. Take your pants off." He whispered in my ear. I giggled and tried to hit him, but he dodged me. Finally, he uncovered my eyes. Before me was a glorious sight. _

_It was a garden._

_All different kinds of flowers were planted, roses, carnations, lilies, every one I could imagine. The smell filled my nose and intoxicated me. There was a fountain directly in the middle, continuously cycling the water. There were lights all around us, glowing brightly in the dark. I gaped at the sight before me._

"_Draco, it's beautiful!" I gasped. He smiled._

"_Thank you. I built it."_

"_No!" I couldn't believe it. He just nodded. I walked around, smelling the different roses. I turned around to face him. "How did you do it?"_

"_I had a lot on my mind, so I built this to get away from it all."_

"_And what was your inspiration?" I asked breathlessly._

"_You."_

_­_

She was there, just as I suspected. The beauty of the garden was just too powerful for anyone to resist. She sat on the bench, crying softly. I walked up slowly to her. Looking up at me, she began to cry harder. I didn't know what I could do, what I could say to make it better. I sat down on the bench next to her. She turned away from me and guilt filled me.

I had to tell her everything.

"Ginny, listen. This isn't what you think it is." I started.

"It isn't? You mean, Draco wasn't just holding you and kissing you? You mean that you didn't steal away my man." I had nothing to say to that and she just cried some more. "How could you do that to me."

"You don't know the whole story. You don't understand."

"The only thing I know is that you stole away the guy that I was falling in love with."

"Were you really falling in love with him?" She looked at me, surprised at my boldness. "Really and truly. Because you've talked to him three times. You barely know who he is."

"I know plenty. I know enough to know that he's a good, kind man who has the capability to love."

"You don't know anything!" I screamed, surprising her and myself. I was angry, angry that she thought she knew so much when she really didn't, angry that I was feeling guilty for loving someone. "You don't know that that man is one of the most loving, generous, pigheaded men on the face of the earth. You don't know that one minute he'll be mad at you, and one simple kiss can make all that anger disappear. You don't know how it feels to have his arms wrapped around you all night. You know nothing!" I yelled.

She looked at me like I was someone she didn't even recognize. "And that capability to love, well he can't love you. Because he's still in love with me." I waited for her to respond, which she didn't for a few minutes. When she did, I wish I had never waited.

"If you ever want me to forgive you, you won't make anymore contact with him."

"Ginny!"

"None!" She screamed. "He's mine. He belongs to me."

"He belongs to no one!" I argued. 

"He will be mine. As long as you get out of the way."

I paused, waiting for her to change her mind. "Is that really what you want?"

"Yes."

"_Don't ever leave me." He said suddenly. I looked up surprised. My expression softened when I saw the pleading in his eyes._

"_I won't. You don't have to worry about that." I stroked his cheek. _

"_Good, I couldn't take it if you left."  
_

"_Hey, shh. It's me who couldn't take it if _you_ left. You're the best thing that's ever happened to you."_

"_That's funny," he chuckled I saw no humor in it, so I just glared._

"_Why?" I asked sternly._

"_Because that's exactly how I feel about you."_

_­_

I didn't want to have to face him. Leaving him forever was going to be hard enough. But facing him would be pure torture. One look would have me filled with doubt. I knew that if he tried to persuade me otherwise, I would sway, and most likely give in. He had an incredible power over me that I cherished and feared all at once.

I slowly made my way over to him, head bowed, desperate not to meet his eyes. I looked up, only to see a smile lighting his face. This wasn't going to be easy. He enveloped me in a hug but I didn't life my arms around him. He pulled back and took in the pained expression on my face.

"Things didn't go well?" He uttered. I nodded darkly. He kissed my forehead and settled me back into his arms. "It's going to be alright. Just wait, you'll see." I started to relax, but remembered why I was there, why I came. I was there to break his heart.

And it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

"I can't be with you anymore."

The silence that filled the air was deafening. He stared in shock, not quite registering what had just escaped my lips. I flinched, waiting for the inevitable. Screaming, yelling, threatening. None of it came. He only looked at me, hurt. I looked away, studying the fountain, though I'm sure that I could draw it by memory. He waited for me to take it back, to make some big joke of it all. When I didn't say anything, he just looked incredulously.

"No." He spoke one word. But that one word was a sliver of hope in my gray world. It showed he cared, showed that he wasn't going to let go.

"Draco," I began but he stopped me.

"This is her fault isn't it? She made you promise that you wouldn't see me anymore, didn't she?" His voice rose and I rested a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him. He picked up my hand and held it close to his heart. I felt the study rhythm of his heartbeat. Suddenly, his lips descended on mine. "Do you feel that?" He asked when we had broken apart. I nodded.

His heart was beating rapidly.

"That's what you do to me." I melted, though part of me still tried to fight, tried to do what was right for once.

"I have to do this Draco." He shook his head slightly, as if he found part of this amusing, endearing.

"No you don't." He cupped my face lovingly. "But because you're the loving, caring person I fell in love with," He wiped away a tear that had slipped down my cheek, "you feel as if you have too. But you don't Hermione, you can't make everyone happy." Another tear traveled down my cheek.

"I can. I can." I whispered, trying to find strength.

"No." He shook his head again. "First you have to make yourself happy."

_Common room couches turned out to be an excellent place to cuddle. _

_I sat, head resting against Draco, legs sprawled across the rest of the sofa. He played with my hair quietly as we sat in silence. Suddenly, he broke the peace. _

"_Why did you fall in love with me?" He asked, not meeting my eyes when I turned to look at him curiously. When I didn't answer, he continued. "I mean, it's not like I saved you or something. And I'm not entirely special." I couldn't help myself then._

_I laughed._

_He looked up hurt, so I stopped the laughter. Seriousness hopefully overcame my face as I placed my fingers underneath his chin, raising his eyes to meet with mine. I smiled softly, taking in his features. The squareness of his jaw, the sharpness of his nose, the kindness in his eyes that had always been there, even when I didn't want to notice it._

"_You did save me, Draco." Surprise shone in his eyes. I smiled wider._

"_You _loved_ me."_

"What if I can't do that?" I yelled. "What if I lost my chance at all happiness when I walked out on you?" The tears were falling freely now. I wished to crumple onto the ground and curl into a ball until the pain subsided. Instead, Draco wrapped his arms around me, protecting me as I sobbed. I cried, tears soaking his shirt.

Then it began to rain.

I buried myself into his arms, letting the rain wash over me as I cried. I cried for the many twisted things in my life. For the misunderstandings, for the betrayals, for the lies, for the heartbreak. Emotions whirled around in my head; overwhelming me and making me collapse into Draco. He supported me, just as he had always done.

And if I let him, just as he always would.

But something held me back from letting him. I couldn't shake the look Ginny had given me. It was pure hatred. Nothing stuck in my mind then more than that did. It was imprinted on my brain, a permanent reminder of my indiscretion. I pushed away from him, sobbing as the rain splattered on my face.

"I can't do this." My voice was strained. I saw confusion flicker over his face before it became stone cold. Anger shone in his eyes as he gripped my arms lightly. I brought my hands up to my face, crying into them. He once again pulled me close, burying my head into his shoulder, his hand cupping my head.

I knew not how long we stood. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours. But for those moments, nothing else existed. There were no problems, no secrets, no lies. Nothing mattered, nothing existed. It was me and him, thriving on each other, loving each other unconditionally. The world slipped away and it was just us, just that moment.

Then the world came crashing back onto my shoulders.

I tried to escape, tried to leave the safe haven his arms were becoming, for I knew that a minute longer wrapped up in him would be the end, but his grip was tight. As were his eyes. I struggled, but a part of me knew that I wished he would never let go, never give up. And he didn't.

"I'm not going to lose you again." I stopped struggling, trying to breathe as all the air disappeared from my lungs. A lump formed in my throat as I looked into his eyes. The eyes that shone with love and determination. The eyes that I had fallen in love with. And I realized something then.

Not everyone could be happy.

No matter how many smiles were given, no matter how words were watched, anyone was rarely happy. And the people who had that happiness clung onto it for dear life, never letting go of the thin strand of hope, the hope that there are greater things in this world. And here was happiness, looking me straight in the eyes, and I was going to give it up to make _someone else_ happy.

So I kissed him then, taking his advice.

And as I wrapped my arms around him and the rain fell around us, I was making myself happy first, not thinking about anyone or anything else. And so, not caring that the rain had thoroughly soaked my clothes, not caring that I had promised to leave and never come back, I just embraced the moment, pushed away the guilt, and kissed the man I loved.

**So I've been writing this for two days straight. Then I had to go on a plane and whatnot. So I did some final editing, changed the ending about a billion times, and produced this long monstrosity. I've never written something this long in this short of time before. I'm going to let it sit another night before I go over it once or twice more before posting it. I'm not happy but oh well. Review please!**


End file.
